If you could change places with me, would you? Don’t answer that until you have read this whole thing. As I roll my blue sparkly wheelchair into the bar to grab a few drinks with my friends. I get looked at oddly at first. As the night goes on and I am tipsy we go out onto the dance floor having fun. These girls feel the need to walk over to me and give me lap dances when the guy in the corner has been trying to get their attention the whole night.
Why me? If I could walk would you even notice I was at the bar? I would probably be like the guy in the corner just watching the crowd not being noticed by anyone, but because my wheelchair stands out it makes me noticeable. Now there are some genuine people that love my company because I am extremely outgoing. I’m nice to talk to; it’s the ones that dance with me and then at the end I get “ You are so brave to be out here”, I’m so glad you are enjoying life even if you are disabled”, “ You inspire me”.
All I can do in those moments is smile but I really just feel sick to my stomach because I’m out here like you just having fun, but you aren’t “Inspiring me” by getting drunk and grinding on random people. I feel like when people see me it’s like I’m this new shiny toy that they want to try out, well I’m sorry but I’m a human just like you and want to be treated like everyone else.
Another thing that I have to deal with is when me and my Wife go out and public and I’ll try to ask someone something, but they will look at my Wife for approval, like I’m some kind of child. I am a GROWN ASS WOMAN. If I am asking you something look me in my eyes like I am your equal.
Then they find out she’s my Wife and OH Buddy! These are the things I hear from people “ Oh my gosh you are so lucky that you have someone that takes great care of you 24/7”, “ She is a blessing from God to be with you and she is so strong”. Yes, my Wife is an amazing person she has done so much for me and I appreciate the big and little things she does for me to help me with my everyday needs.
It bothers me because they do not realize it is a two-way relationship I also help around the house and do things to help my Wife to feel comfortable. She may not have a physically disability, but she has a Mental Illness and it is like being physically disabled. People just cannot see it. It is like being in a wheelchair in her brain. I am very independent I can do most things on my own. I cannot cook or do laundry or clean the house properly. If I did not have her, I would probably just have someone come in occasionally to help me cook for the week, help with laundry, and clean my house. That’s not going to happen because she’s not going anywhere! That is bae for life # Hostage.
Those are just a few things that I encounter on a daily and it sucks but I live with it because it is ignorance. Sometimes when people first meet me, they automatically think that just because I’m in a wheelchair I’m cognitively impaired. Don’t assume before you get to know someone who is disabled please actually talk to them. One guy at the bar once said to me “You have it easy, you don’t have to walk I wish I can be you” Do you wish to be me now?
Signing off my lovies <3 -Golda Rae
